Cycles

Trying to forget more days than remember

Another cycle through the same loop

Each pass getting stronger

The point is now moot

Like watching VCR tapes on repeat

Rewind, then press play again

The tape getting thinner and thinner

Until there’s only static beginning to end

Grinding my teeth

I’m seizing in my sleep

Unconscious so I can’t remember

When I’m conscious I can’t stop screaming

Smashed the compass & burned the map

Lead astray yet again

Wish I could trust you

And stop letting you get in

Damage control on my choices

Everything on autopilot

Didn’t finish what I started

So let’s find something else to give up on

Looking for a brighter tomorrow

But all I can see is darkness

Looking for gold at the end of a rainbow

But there’s no rain insight

Drinking from the well of life

all I taste is regret

Screaming into the mirror

all I can hear is silence

Yet we find ourselves here again

In the same exact place

Another pass through another cycle

This one more cryptic than the last

A hot knife through my heart

When I think about my past

I can’t shake me off of me

So I suffocate myself instead

Behind these eyes I just see spirals

Spinning in my head

The downward trajectory

Of the reality that is

Another cycle of failing begins

This pass is much stronger than the last

Repeating exactly as it did before

My foot stuck on the gas

I’d rather forget these days than remember

Running from my past

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