Deafening Silence

I can hear what you’re not saying

Your silence is so loud

You’ve said enough without breathing a word

I don’t need you to speak to hear how you feel

Just need some time alone,

Steady on the brink

Sick of always feeling every single thing you think

The fake you is as real as it gets

False built facade

This ain’t even worth it

Spotlight in the dark,

I’m searching for my purpose

Questioning what is actually worth it

Spinnin in my head,

The chemicals won’t let me to go to bed

Damaged soul, broken mind

my heart black as ink

What you see when you look at me

Isint what you think

Beachfront penthouse for a week

Been up all night every night trying to fall asleep

Blacked out start to finish,

Beginning till the end

Drinkin all day everyday

My demons trying to turn me into their friend

Looking down on me as I’m floatin on the ceiling

Crushin pills that I ain’t even feelin

Off on the acid, rolling on the e

Vision so blurred I can’t even see

Phone ringin off the hook

Texts keep asking when we gunna meet

It ain’t worth the save

Ultra marathon goin straight to the grave

Need some kind of change,

But it’s just what it is

All the pain deep down is secretly where the love is

Introverted self saying I ain’t worth your time

I’m half a 2 and you’re twice a dime

Smile like a bullet

Shatter me like glass

The universe ripples when you shake that ass

Being told I’m the best

Signing my name on your best friends chest

You say I’m nothing but we both know I’m less

I guess I’m going crazy

You make me hate it all

Throwin out this deck cards to see where they all fall

You never were about it

Everything is so messed up

Why even try

Fact of the matter is the truth don’t lie

It was all fake, everything I felt

Taken out at the knees

Self judgement hit below the belt

Never thought that how it is

Was the way it’s going to be

As damaged as they come,

Instinct is to leave

You try to love me

And I split the scene

Still a trip that you even wanted to know my name

and that we ever made it so far

Let you build a tower in my heart

Stood back to watch it fall

Tore it all down

Right in front of our eyes

Digging through the rubble

Until my fingers bleed

Only Me, Myself, and I is all I’ll ever be

The silence is deafening

I’d rather hear the screams

Give me an auditory clue

To what you actually mean

Need a magnifying glass

Just to find a sign

So we can both stop guessing

So we can see what isn’t real

The silence is deafening

But I can no longer hear at all

Yet everything you never said

I still can feel it all

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